Winter wonderland picnic

So what do we pack for a nice cozy picnic in the snow. A big thermos full of hot chocolate with those little mini marsh mellows or the big foamy looking one? How about some hot chicken noodle soup. We can snuggle while we sip the soup and just enjoy watching the beautiful flakes fall about us. We have to remember the pocket warmers and the insulated boots...don't forget the wrap around scarf and the ear muffs. I'll hold your hands and we will be warm. What was that music from Zhivago during the winter scene?

To the movies

As a kid my favorite get away was to go the movies every Saturday and Sunday. I loved the old musicals...like Frank Sinatra in Pal Joey or An American in Paris with Gene Kelly...two of many that I still love to revisit. But then there are the Brando classics like his role as Emiliano Zapata staring along with Anthony Quinn or the movie the Ugly American. That book shook my life when I first read it and Brando brought it to life on the screen. In these times it is more DVD than movie theater...very casual as I make my own popcorn or Dinner Theater style with a meal in front of the TV. My problem is I have trouble finding DVDs in say Mandarin or Spanish without a lot of sub-titles. Sub-titles take away from the mood the raw language puts you in. I have great memories of queuing up outside of a movie house in Hong Kong or Shanghai. There it is not unusual for people to bring food and drink into the movie house. That is where I first experienced Zhang Yimo and Gong Lee as the dynamic movies team the once were. Recently I viewed Ang Lee's latest work Lust,Caution and all I can say is WOW! Ang Lee gives us a variety of raw experiences that left me feeling a need for pain to validate my ability to love...really it gets into your brain in an intoxicating way and makes you feel confused right to the end. A must experience since it is not only viewed by also experienced.
Tonight I watched Michael Clayton understand how Ms. Swinton earned her award. Michael Clayton was only one type of janitor portrayed...others took it to another level cleaning up a big mess in a way that left me wondering--is this where Delta Force goes after the war? A few weeks back I viewed Eastern Promises and for the second time on the screen Viggo had me on the edge of my seat. Again the reality of brutality...does it really exist in current times...you bet it does this is about things that really happen. There are new DVDs coming out that I want to see but I still like to use my Blockbuster freebies to revisit old faves like Lawrence of Arabia or Dr. Zhivago. I love it when an actor knocks me over with the credibility that exists in the character they portray. Being in character is what acting is about...leaving yourself and becoming this persona you are portraying. There are actors in the theaters and on the stage that are so very good.

Listen to your Mother

More and more I hear of people who are being contacted from beyond by loved ones who have died. No, this is not a disbeliever but rather a true believer that is does happen. My feelings are that is happens more often than we realize. We have closed our minds to the possibility so absolutely that we miss this contact intended to guide us to that which we search our whole lives. My Mom died recently...as much as I knew I would miss her--death was a reward as opposed to suffering with cervical cancer. I have siblings...seven of them to be exact...and you know what Mom recently reminded me of was that she and I had four years as an only child. This is something special I shared with her. I grew up speaking Spanish and Euskera since I was raised around Maternal and Paternal Grandparents who did not speak English. Around the age of four when my father had returned from his military service we moved to communities where only English was spoken. Well my Mom recently reminded me that buried deep in my mind is a fluency in Spanish/Euskera and all I need to do is start using it. She was a big believer that my ability to learn complex languages was a result of having to transition from Spanish.
My Mom and I don't talk in the conventional sense but it is a mental communication that goes on. Lately I have found myself articulating my answers and yes, people do look at me very strangely. At times it is so strange because there are mornings when I know that my dreams have been in those languages. Problem is I don't write in those languages so I am hoping that if I just put forth the effort I will gain additional language fluency's. Don't think for a moment that praise for something well done doesn't come from beyond. We really have no idea what happens. I have my beliefs as to what happens--but thats another page.

What do I know?

How much can one person absorb or be involved in? I don't think that has a quantifiable answer. Each of us has a capacity. Some grow that capacity to become so open ended that it goes in many directions and just grows and grows. Others are finite and set limits as to what or to what extent they are open to new learning. They prefer to have this little niche that becomes their specialty. We see them as the experts in that precise segment of knowledge. Personally--however, I don't see the more generalist style of learners any less knowledgeable and tend to believe they may have more of knowledge tied into the real pulse of the universe. What I am trying to say is still not absolutely clear to me and am still struggling to understand it. I just feel this when I read the works of great writers of say the 19Th c. or early 20Th c. such as Joyce and Dostoevsky just to mention a few. What they wrote still rocks the cradle of the mind and changes the direction of our thoughts. I guess that is why I enjoy periodically visiting these old friends and keep their works near by.
Mature thought. Ever give thought to what that might mean? Is it old and stinky? Is it based on experience? Not everyone has significant experiences and not all thought is archaic and one step removed from dust. When I lived in Asia I was not taken totally serious until my hair started to gray. Although most of my friends and colleagues dyed their hair--they knew each other since childhood and knew how they had developed. I was the new kid no one knew about and the only measure of maturity came irrespective of experiences but rather on the occasion of my gray hair.
I have been giving much thought as to how I filter people that I come in contact with. Do I have this mental paradigm that programs me to ask certain questions in that attempt to gain comfort or better yet to see who has the better Gong fu. Man, woman it makes no difference. If you are going to be in my life are you going to share or just take? No, I don't just blurt that out but somehow that process that isolates me when it should only be insulating me by allowing this new warmth to reach me. I sort of listen to me ask questions but I really listen to the responses coming back to me. This person challenges me that person agrees with me. But why? I don't even know if I am right. It is best to stay on topics that are historically recorded and discussions that revolve around minute interpretations. Heaven forbid it was some way out philosophical discussion that Kant or Nietzsche left open ended. Did they ever leave anything open for further discussion?

Blame it on the weather

For the first time in over 50 yrs China on the eve of the New Year has thousands stranded--unable to get home for Spring Festival. This will put a real wrinkle in many who believe what happens now is an indication of the rest of the year. Personally I hope not...if so I will be overburdened with readings, note taking and then making cohesive paragraphs. Ha, folks are stranded in train stations and on the road and I have petty concerns. I better straighten up my thinking or it will be a bad karmic year for me.
Still I can't help but reflect on that homing instinct at this time of the year...for some its the only trip they make hope after working miles away from home. I imagine that now that more families in China have Buicks the road traffic was a real problem. It is bad just with the trucks moving goods and produce back and forth from country to city.
You know what, if the Chinese remember how to help each other as they have done in the past, they will get through this crisis on their own without outside help.

My examination hell

It is late--too late to be quizzing myself. What have I accomplished this past year...what do I intend to do in this new year. My God its February already. Where did January go...what have I been doing this past month. Chinese New Year...a couple days away and I haven't even begun to make my rounds...do I want hao yun qi? I better get moving? What year is it? 4706 by their calander the year of the Rat. Some say Gong Xi Fa Tsai others Gong Hei Fatt Choi...Happy New Year.

I have oranges on the table and tomorrow I will buy some fresh flowers and apples and make it a point to wear red...pay off my debts...not really but I am in great standing with all accounts.

I can't believe the community is so quiet...must be some truth to an economic slow down. Still that never stopped people before. The custom, tradition continues regardless of current conditions...all we do right now will determine how properous the year will be for us. No holding back.
My excuse for being so frantic...studies, exams, defending, writing. So much to read but I want a life.